Job title- is it important?

My senior has been promoted to Engineering Design Manager. My junior has been promoted to Deputy Engineering Design Manager. Where does that leaves me..? I am still a Project Engineer. 

I was a little taken aback by their sudden promotion, especially my junior. How can she be promoted when she used to always be late for work and took sudden half days leave? She has made a great effort to change though and it shows. I really have nothing against her. I do agreed that she has strong theory. It was always apparent that my boss favours them. I said that i didn't care, but sometimes he made it too obvious and i did get a little jealous.

I sometimes think that part of it was because i don't try hard to suck up to him. I don't do small talk and i don't have a warm personality. What do you expect from a Capricorn who is socially awkward and raised a loner. 

At first, i do not really care about the title. But today, it hit me hard how important a title was when i went to lead a tender interview with my other junior (replacing my boss who is outstation). They asked me, am i the next in line after my boss? And i said 'no, we also have a Tendering Manager'. Then they asked, 'then after that it's you?' I said 'no'. 'Don't you have another Director?' I said, 'We do have another Director.' They asked'And he couldn't make it to this interview?' 'Yes.' 'Don't you have a Project Manager?' 'We do, but our Project Manager does not usually attend tender interview. He is mainly in charge of Site matters.' 'Are you a QS?' 'No, I am a Project Engineer.' 'A what?' 'A Project Engineer', i repeated. They took a second look at my card and nodded.

I do think that it is better to just be a Project Engineer and are able to answer all of their questions. While stil have an excuse for not being able to answer some of their questions. Not that i wasn't able to today. 

My heart beats at a weird pace while writting this post. It Felt constricted. 

My senior has actually told me that i used to really show my emotion whenever i do not agree with my boss' instruction. And i have also improved a lot in controlling them. She even used me as an example in dealing with my boss. My solution, keep my mouth shut. My boss also always compared my senior with my junior telling my senior to take my junior as an example in how to deal with people.

I noticed that everytime when my boss is comparing attitude or personal traits of his employees, he would always take others as example and never me. Never. 

I don't think he knew me very well. He still thought that i am a Dayak.*face palm.

When i told him that i have planned my Chinese New Year Holiday for 2014 without following the company's approved date. He said, 'waa.. Might as well don't come back.' *sigh. I ask him, 'are you sure?' And he just laughed it off  And didn't answer me. My senior told me not to put it to heart. 

Why is he creating all these office hierarchy? To create competition? 

When i first joined my company, i always thought that he hated me. 

I love that my senior giving me all these motivational talk. And my junior has her own problem in dealing with office politics. 

But It won't matter what your title is, as long as he knows who is pulling their own weight.

I still need a bossom for a pillow..:(