Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Yeay~!!

Found my file neatly tucked under a pile of documents at the main con site office...

I'm sooo happy... guess my constant prayers are answered.. there goes my birthday wish for this year..!! ehehe heck.. it's worth it...

Monday, December 1, 2008

Some one to Listen….

Some one to Listen….

Lately with all the things that I went through… I was kind of in a down mood.. u know… when I was at home with my brothers.. I used to yap about my problems at them.. I know that they didn’t really care but at least they were there pretending to listen…. I know… coz I almost always didn’t get any respond… but I was satisfied by just letting all that is bothering me out….. sometimes, gale & laipeng was like that too.. but I almost always got some respond/ advices…..

Now I could hardly find anyone to complain about my day… recently, about how I lost my project file at site…I tried with ah pang but he was only interested on how his daughter was so naughty n couldn’t sit still, economy, political issues of how RB was easily let off, how the cops involved & their family never showed their faces, how A’s father who made so much noise during the early stages of trials seems to just disappear from the face of the earth assuming he was bribe by N for millions/ billions of US $, how the Penan in Sarawak was badly treated what with the Bakun dam, how the government screwed up the multimedia super corridor in sabah, but he finally shuts up about the fuel price hike (told me it wouldn’t go down in a million years when it first went up..him with all his ideas).. now it’s down to RM2 or RM2.15, he changes his mind by saying no not the fuel price..it’s the food price that wouldn’t go down…whatever.. I stopped listening long after he compared races n the aborigines, religions, how we cook our simple food n so on…. I’m an opinionated girl but it seems that I can’t win with him.. he does OWN a company….I even tried to confide to Una too that day.. but apparently my problems were not worth listening to… I stopped telling her my problem before I even finished my story…

I never felt so alone than last Friday… I started welling up at the restaurant…confide by text to wai…. At least he had something to say.. See… don’t tell me I never tried… I never thought of Eja.. simply coz I feel that our topic of conversation doesn’t matched…
I tried once when we were out for lunch… she changed the subject to one that centers on herself without giving any feedback… hm.. she likes clubbing.. maybe because of having the chance to dress up, that’s what we girls do.. I like dressing up and getting a feel for the environment.... I went coz I knew she wouldn’t know the way even though we went there like a million times... for shopping… that’s a different story… she could shop better than I do….

Una might be wondering why I always holed up in my room whenever they’re home… she asked me not to before we even move to their new house... I have a few reasons for that… I was used to watching TV without any form of distraction, I’m ok watching with people with the same channel interest.. I did so with Laipeng during college… I played with the baby when Una’s cooking or ah pang was trying to watch the news… I knew I wouldn’t have the chance to hog the TV coz of the different interest in channel viewing choice… I’m more of a STAR WORLD, AXN, DISCOVERY,MTV, E! kind of girl, he was more towards the NTV7, 8TV, TV3 kind of guy, she was an AFC and whatever he’s watching kind… but I have no problem with that too since I could record almost everything with my Astro Max.. but only when they don’t turned off the decoder when they’re done watching….

He stopped taking her to the movies after they got married n have baby… I like Wong Kwok Char Chan Teng, Kim Gary and all the likes… I like stuff they hate.. I like flavours in my food… they don’t…. whatever I find nice to eat… they diss ‘em… I find it odd… and I realized that we grew up in different household.. moms cooked different food… my mom cooked all these nice good to eat food.. I like her moms cooking if I’m trying to find something healthy.. coz they always have simple healthy veggies…I like their soup as well…. always feel like I was forced to finish everything… my dad never forced me to eat anything…maybe I like unhealthy food… I find ‘em nice… I like my veggies in oyster sauce or laced with salted fish, I like Foo Chow dan tang, I like thick mushroom soup, I like fried toufu, I like sweet & sour fish, I like lemon fish, I like cooked & sliced cucumber, I like the short bean, I like kailan laced with salted fish, I do like Tie Ban Tou Fu, I like fried Lala, I like fried carrot cake, I like my mom’s seaweed + egg+ ginger soup, I like soup not just water+ slimy leaves+ anchovy+ ginger…I don’t like anything slimy and sweet pumpkin soup...i’d rather eat junk food.. she could attest to that herself…mentioned it once….

But I came to terms with it already… I only hope that I could find someone & do something quick before I self-destruct from all these pressures…